Withdrawn. Quiet. Aloof. Stoic.
Emotionless. She never laughed; she never smiled. Her life was empty and void
of any reason to live. Her body was like the shell of a person with nothing
inside but tears. The only emotion she ever showed was when she cried. Sadness was
all she had inside. The evil of this world had crushed her life, leaving her
broken and shattered, without a hope for the future. She was weary, ready for
life to be over; yet, she wasn’t an old woman or a young woman, a teenager, an
adolescent, or a child-
.
this hopeless individual was not even two years old. Marry Joe Mesa, a ward of the State of
Arizona, bound to a life of nothingness
.
“I
wanted her,” says 31-year-old Theresa Ginty.
.
After she told the case manager
that she wanted to adopt Marry Joe, she was immediately shut down. “You? Adopt?
Her? You can’t adopt her! She has medical issues! She is on a special diet! It
is too hard for you to ever learn all of her medical issues. You would
practically have to be a licensed nurse to be able to take care of her! There
is no way you can adopt Marry Joe!”
“She
basically just laughed in my face,” says Theresa.
.
However,
Theresa remembered. She remembered a time several years earlier that God had
spoken to her and given her a promise that she had long since forgotten. But as
she stood there with the case manager dismissing her request and laughing in
her face, Theresa remembered God’s promise…
.
It
happened at Conqueror’s Conference, a church youth convention. Theresa was
about 24-years-old at the time. She found herself feeling somewhat frustrated
with where her life was headed at the time: single, without a prospect for
marriage in sight, the oldest amongst her youth group, and no clear direction
for her future. She remembers that during one of the day services of the
conference, Bro. Rod Foster preached a message about having patience and
waiting on God. When the sermon was over and the altar call was made, she
remembers going up front to pray. As she was sitting on one of the front pews,
everyone was singing, “If You Can Use Anything Lord, You Can Use Me.” She felt
like God told her that He had a special plan for her life and that she just
needed to be patient and wait.
.
It
wasn’t like she heard an audible voice or anything; she just felt like God
impressed it upon her mind. Before altar call was over that day, she prayed to
God, “If that really was You telling me that You have a plan for my life, would
You please give me some sort of sign to confirm what I think You are telling
me?” When prayer time was over, she got up and went on with the rest of the day,
not thinking again about her prayer to God.
.
That
night after another service and another altar call, she says she remembers
sitting on one of the pews towards the front of the church when Bro. Foster,
the preacher from the morning service, came over to her and started to talk to
her. He said that he didn’t do this sort of thing very often, but he felt like
God had given him a message specifically for her. He said, “I feel like God has
told me that He has a very special plan for your life, and you just need to
wait and be patient.” Theresa was very
surprised by his words. They were almost the exact words that she felt God had
impressed upon her that very morning. So overwhelmed by the confirmation of
God’s message to her, she didn’t say anything back to the preacher; she just
sat there and cried.
.
At
the time, Theresa says she just assumed that the message of God’s special plan
for her was concerning finding a husband; but now, several years later, as this
case manager laughed in her face at her request to adopt Marry Joe, Theresa
knew that Marry Joe was the promise that God had given to her!
.
Marry
Joe was born with a disease called PKU. It is a very rare disease that every
child is tested for at birth. The best way to describe PKU is that it is an
extreme allergy to protein. People with PKU cannot eat any meat at all and require
a complete vegetarian diet. Because most food has at least some trace of
protein in it, all food intake must be measured, calculated and recorded. PKU
patients also have a special type of dietary formula that they must drink daily-
it is filled with the proper nutrients and can be compared to a daily required
medicinal prescription. If the PKU diet is not followed properly, the excess
intake of protein will destroy brain cells and, over a process of time, lead to
mental retardation.
.
Although
Marry Joe’s birthparents were not mean or physically abusive to her, due to
lack of education and ignorance, they were unable to understand and implement Marry
Joe’s dietary restrictions. The PKU diet was not being followed. Because her
medical needs were not being met, at one and a half years old, Marry Joe was
taken out of her home by Child Protective Services and placed into a foster
home. This is where Theresa met her for the first time.
.
Theresa
was a respite care provider for a mentally handicapped young man that also
lived in Marry Joe’s foster home. She was also an aide in his special needs classroom
at Pinnacle High School. She had gotten to know the foster family through her
work at the school, and, as a result, began a second job working in their home
to take care of this young man.
.
Over
the years, this family had taken in quite a few foster kids into their home. Although
Theresa was a friend of the family and worked in the home, it wasn’t long
before she began to realize that things just weren’t ‘right’ in this home. They
had an adopted-from-birth son. He had grown up in this two-parent home, yet he
had so many emotional issues and absolutely hated his adoptive dad. The couple
had another adopted daughter, who also grew up in the home- she was on drugs
and uncontrollable. Theresa began to see that almost every child in this home
was unhappy. Every child that had grown up there, whether adopted or in foster
care, had turned out messed up.
.
Even
as a toddler, Marry Joe was already following in the footsteps of everyone else
in the home. Although Theresa never saw
or witnessed any physical abuse, it was very obvious to her that the home
lacked peace and love. The foster kids were just a job, a paycheck in the mail,
a way to pay the bills. To think that Marry Joe would have to live her whole
life in that home was completely unfathomable for Theresa.
.
“I
had to get her out!” says Theresa. “I knew that if she stayed there she would
turn out messed up like all the other kids in that household.” She says that when the case manager showed
no interest in helping her adopt Marry Joe, she just thought, “Ok then, I guess
I’ll have to go a different route in getting her.”
.
Theresa
began researching what one needed to do in order to adopt a child who was a
ward of the State of Arizona. She found out that you had to take classes and
become adoption certified. The classes would cost $800 dollars. With no guarantee
of what would happen, Theresa laid out the money, and immediately signed up for
classes to begin the process of becoming adoption certified.
.
Theresa
says that when she would tell people about this little girl that was in the
home where she worked, and that she wanted to adopt her, she could tell they
didn’t really believe it would happen. They just looked at her with platonic
smiles, nodded their heads, and stood with body language that stated, “Yeah.
Sure. Whatever.” Even the Adoption
Class teacher at the Christian Care Agency told Theresa that more than likely
it would never happen. They could find her a child to adopt, but it probably
wouldn’t be Marry Joe.
.
In
the meantime, while Theresa was getting herself adoption certified, she
continued doing respite care for the family. She said she hated her job there.
The house was disgusting. It smelled of animals, urine, and cigarettes. The
television was always blaring, and it was rarely with cartoons, but with crazy
Jerry Springer-like talk shows or horror movies. Also, Theresa said there was
something just odd about the dad. He was never mean or rude to her and never did
anything to make her feel uncomfortable; she simply felt something odd about
him. She could never really place her finger on what it was. Despite the bad
circumstances of the home, Theresa felt that she couldn’t quit her job there.
She couldn’t lose sight of Marry Joe, and so she continued working there.
.
Theresa
said that whenever she was at the house to watch the young man from her
classroom at school, all the other kids were almost always in their bedrooms.
She said she figured out that the typical weekend routine for Marry Joe and her
foster sister was like this- they would get out of their rooms in the morning
for breakfast, stay out for maybe an hour or so, and then they were back in
their rooms. They would get out again for lunch, and after lunch it was nap
time. Later, they got out for dinner. Dinner was followed by baths. Bedtime was
usually 5:30 p.m. They would then be in their rooms until 9a.m. the following
day. This routine only changed for school and doctor appointments.
.
Every
chance Theresa had she would interact with Marry Joe, and even though Marry Joe
usually responded with blank stares and rarely showed any sort of emotion,
Theresa slowly began to build a relationship. Marry Joe began to know when
Theresa was there, even when she was locked in her room. She would listen for
her and call out for her. Theresa said that Marry Joe would continuously scream
and cry and cry and cry for her. Everyone in the house would just ignore her.
They wouldn’t even acknowledge that it was happening. It would break Theresa’s
heart to hear her. When she walked by the bedroom, she could see Marry Joes’
hands reaching out to her,
peeking out from under the door as she screamed,
“Theresa! Theresa! Theresa!”
.
Once
Marry Joe wanted to see Theresa, she says it was like the foster mom became
even more determined for her to see her as little as possible. Sometimes
Theresa would feel like it was just too hard of a situation, things were just
too complicated and it would never work out. When Theresa would tell her own
mom that she was ready to give up, her mom was adamant about her pushing on.
.
She
says her mom would tell her, “You can’t give up! You have to keep trying! Just
think about Marry Joe. She is stuck in that home until she is 18. You can’t let
that happen to her! You have to get her out, Theresa! You can’t give up! Just
think of her calling out for you! Think of her little hands reaching out to you
under the door! You have to get her! She needs you! You have to fight for her,
Theresa! You have to fight for her!” Theresa said that her mom’s words would
push her to keep trying.
.
Since
the foster mom was determined for Theresa and Marry Joe to see as little of
each other as possible, Theresa came up with a plan. Marry Joe’s bedroom was
connected to a bathroom that was also accessible from the main hallway. When
the foster parents were outside, and she thought it was safe, Theresa would go
into the bathroom, open the door to Marry Joe’s room and motion for her to come
over. When she came over, Theresa would hug her and give her little packs of
Smarties candies, which she knew Marry Joe was allowed to have on her diet. She
would tell Marry Joe to hurry up and eat the candy and not to cry out for her
or tell anyone about the treats- otherwise, she wouldn’t be able to see her
anymore.
.
While
Theresa was taking the classes to get adoption certified, she also decided that
she was going to become informed about PKU and understand the diet as much as
possible. She was getting herself prepared for what she knew was going to
happen.
.
During
this time, God worked a miracle! The church was having an outreach push to try
and get new people coming to the church. It was pretty much a contest to see
who could bring the most people to church over a three month time period. It
was cowboy themed and called “Fall Round Up.”
Theresa decided that she was going to approach the foster mom about
letting her bring Marry Joe and her older foster sister to church. Theresa said
she “really, really, really” wanted to win this contest at her church and
surprisingly the foster mom agreed to let her take them. Marry Joe and her older,
special needs foster sister began attending church on Sunday mornings with
Theresa.
.
Theresa
and her younger sister, Mary, began going to the house every Sunday morning
before church to get the girls dressed and ready for church. Marry Joe liked
going to church with Theresa and was always eager to get ready and leave the
house. Yet, she still showed very little emotion. While Theresa was driving to
church, her sister would turn around from the passenger seat in the front and
try to talk to Marry Joe. “Heeeey, Marry Joe!” She wouldn’t even look up. “My
name is Mary, too!” She just continued to stare blankly; she was very good at
ignoring people. “We’re both Marys! Isn’t that soooo cool? I’m Mary, and you’re
Mary, too!” Finally Marry Joe would respond with, “Mmmmmm,” and give an
attitude kick of her leg towards Mary.
She had absolutely no idea how to respond to love, even though it was
apparent that she wanted and needed it so much in her life.
.
Every
time Theresa would bring Marry Joe back from church, the dread of once again
leaving Marry Joe in that horrible house would increase. At Easter, Theresa
gave Marry Joe a little stuffed bunny.
When its tummy was squeezed, the bunny would
sing in a high pitched child-like voice: “Jesus loves me this I know for the
Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong; they are weak, but He is strong.
Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. The Bible tells
me so.”
.
One day the foster mom told Theresa that Marry Joe had been playing the
bunny singing all through the night. Over and over, she would push in on the
tummy and make it sing. The foster mom told Theresa that she was sick of
hearing it; she was ready to just take the bunny and throw it away. Theresa says
she found comfort in knowing that in the middle of the night when Marry Joe was
alone, locked in the room, she was hearing, “Jesus loves me. Jesus loves me.
Jesus loves me,” over and over and over again.
.
Theresa
says that she tried so many different ways to get Marry Joe out of the home.
She said she would place numerous anonymous calls to Child Protective Services.
CPS always said the same thing: unless there was actual, physical proof or
evidence of some sort of abuse, there was nothing they could do.
.
The
foster family really liked Theresa. They never suspected that Theresa was very
leery of them and that she wanted to get Marry Joe out. They soon began having
Theresa stay at the house with all the foster kids when they went out of town
for family vacations. Theresa always brought her sister, Mary, with her to stay
at the house, too.
.
“There
was no way I was staying in that house by myself!” says Theresa. She was always
very adamant that she could feel evil in the home. Even Mary, Theresa’s sister,
who was usually not as spooked by stuff, would not walk down the hall alone at
night. While Theresa and her sister were staying with the kids, they would
search the house. Theresa says that she always had this feeling that the family
was involved in something illegal or illicit with the children. She and her
sister would search the computers, the closets, under the beds, in boxes,
cabinets, anywhere and everywhere, trying to find some sort of evidence that
would help them to be able to get Marry Joe out of the home.
“I
never could find anything,” says Theresa.
.
There
were times when Theresa says she felt very discouraged. It seemed like it was a
hopeless situation and there was no way she would ever be able to get Marry Joe
out of that house. She remembers one time, when she was feeling particularly discouraged,
that Bro. Dorian Myers came through evangelizing and preached a message that
strengthened her faith. She can’t remember his exact wording. The message was
basically about how sometimes when we are waiting on God, everything will seem
to be going wrong, contrary to what we hope for and want to see happen. As a
result of these circumstances, we think, “Oh, it’s just not working out.
Therefore, it must not be God’s will,” before realizing it really is God’s
will. We just need to keep holding on and believing God’s promise.
.
Theresa
says that was exactly the way she had been feeling about Marry Joe. Nothing was
happening. Nothing was working out; therefore, it must not be God’s will, and
she should just give up. However, after hearing that message her faith was
rebuilt and she knew she had to keep fighting. She says that she knew God was
going to do something to get Marry Joe out of that house, but she just didn’t
know what.
.
“I
used to sit there and try to think of different ways God could get her out of
there,” says Theresa. “I knew God was going to do it, I just didn’t know how. I
had a feeling it was going to be in a way that I had never even thought of.”
.
One
summer day while on a family vacation in California, Theresa got a phone call.
It was from the oldest adopted son in the foster home where Theresa worked and
Marry Joe lived. He told Theresa that his family was moving out of the country
and that his mom was going to let her take Marry Joe. He told Theresa that he
couldn’t tell her why they were moving and that he wasn’t supposed to be
telling her this news, but his mom was going to tell her when she got back from
the trip. Theresa was shocked, but sure enough, when she got home from
vacation, the mom talked to her about taking in Marry Joe as a foster child.
.
Theresa
says she learned, “You just don’t know how God will answer your prayers and,
that if He gives you a promise, you don’t need to take it into your own hands.
Just trust in God and wait on Him. Leave it in His hands. He will work it all out
better than you could have planned.”
.
Apparently,
the reason for the sudden move was that the father was being accused by a
previous foster daughter of many different forms of abuse while she had been in
the house. The foster parents denied these accusations, but for whatever
reason, still felt the need to move out of the country. This was in May of
2007.
.
It
was almost another year before Theresa would actually get Marry Joe. After the
foster mom talked to Theresa, it was a continuous changing of her mind, back
and forth, up and down. One day they were moving out of the country, and the
next week they weren’t. The next time Theresa would go over there they were
once again moving and she would be getting Marry Joe; the next time she came
they said they were going to adopt Marry Joe and take her with them. Theresa’s
heart just about died in fear that they really would adopt her; however, the
birthparents absolutely refused to sign the papers to severe their rights and
allow their child to leave the country. They felt like they would never be able
to see her again if she moved out of the country, or even out of the state.
.
During
this back and forth time of waiting and uncertainty, Theresa began talking with
the birthparents about Marry Joe coming to live with her. Even though it was
their greatest desire for Marry Joe to come back to live with them, they liked
the idea of Marry Joe living with Theresa. The birth father confessed to
Theresa that he actually had a Pentecostal background and was familiar with what
she believed. He also told her that he had been praying to God, and if he couldn’t
get Marry Joe back, his desire was that she would be able to live in a
Christian home.
.
On
May 16th, 2008, Theresa’s prayers were answered and Marry Joe Mesa finally
moved in! There were some bumps as everyone began to adjust to the changes and
newfound roles in each other’s lives. However, for the most part, everything
went very smoothly. Marry Joe immediately began to blossom and flourish as she
was loved.
She began to learn how to use her imagination and play- to laugh, to
giggle, to just be a kid. She turned into a little chatterbox, and at times, would
just talk and talk and talk. Often her bossy, take-charge, mothering
personality would get her into trouble. The mothering was soon put into full
force with all of her baby dolls.
Theresa remembers feeling such a happiness at
seeing the once stoic, non-emotional little girl, skipping and giggling. It was
like this little bubbly personality had been released from its prison.
.
Theresa
said when she finally got Marry Joe living with her through foster care
she felt happy; however, she just didn’t feel like things were complete between
she and Marry Joe. Having her as a foster child was good, but it wasn’t a
without-a-doubt ‘total and complete permanency’. “I knew I still wanted to
adopt her,” says Theresa. “I wanted us to have the same last name.” More than
anything else, she says that they belonged together and she wanted to know that
they would belong to each other forever. The very thought of losing Marry Joe
made her sick. She said there were times she was so worried about Marry Joe
leaving for re-unification with her birthparents or being placed into another
foster home, she would get stomach aches. “I knew I had to adopt her,” says
Theresa.
.
The
first time Theresa approached Marry Joe’s birthparents about the subject of
adoption she got a resounding, “No.” Marry Joe’s birthfather was very adamant
about not signing away his rights as her father. He said that even though he
was happy with her being placed with Theresa instead of the previous foster
home, his goal was to somehow learn the diet and get Marry Joe back with him
and her birthmother. Theresa, devastated at his response to her heartfelt
request, immediately started crying. Despite the tears, the birthfather was
firm. He would never sign away his rights to his child.
.
Theresa
wasn’t sure what to do next. She didn’t want to fight dirty towards the birthparents
and prove that by not following the diet they had indeed caused damage to Marry
Joe and her learning abilities. She decided to wait a while and see what would
happen over time.
.
It
wasn’t long after moving in with Theresa that Marry Joe began calling Theresa ‘mom’.
It became obvious to the birthparents that Marry Joe was very much attached to
Theresa. Although Marry Joe enjoyed the times when they came over for their
visits, there was no real attachment to them. She had no concept of them being
her birth family- they were just people that came and visited, and her
biological siblings were just kids that came over and played with her. Anytime
the siblings referred to their parents as also being her parents, Marry Joe
would just look at them blankly. If they referred to their mom as her mom, she
was very adamant; “That is NOT my mom. My mom is Theresa!”
"My mom is Theresa!”
Even though there
was no doubt in Marry Joe’s mind who she considered her mother to be, she was
bothered that she didn’t have the same last name as everyone else in her Ginty
foster family. Her cousin, Grandma and Grandpa, aunts, and uncles all had the
same last name, but hers was different.
“I
want to be a Ginty, too!” she would say.
.
Theresa felt like since it was
starting to be a noticeable difference to Marry Joe, it was time to approach
the birthparents again about adoption. During the year or so that Theresa had
gotten Marry Joe, the birthparents had moved several times. The birthfather had
lost his job and they were continually moving from one homeless shelter to the
next. The birthfather was also struggling with some extreme health issues.
.
In
the midst of this, unbearable news came to Theresa. The caseworker said that
they were going to change Marry Joe’s case plan from ‘long-term adoption’ to ‘reunification
with the birthparents’. When Theresa heard this news she was absolutely
devastated. Even though everyone tried to reassure Theresa that it would never
actually happen, and that this was just another step towards adopting Marry Joe,
she was still horrified. The caseworker explained to her that this process had
to be followed; the birth parents would have to be tested again to see if they
had somehow learned to care for Marry Joe’s health needs. He said that more
than likely they would not be able to learn the diet and this would just make
it so that the State could finally severe the birthparents’ rights, and Theresa
would be able to adopt.
.
Still,
Theresa wondered, what if some way, somehow they had learned the diet? What if
Marry Joe went back to them? She said that she couldn’t even bear the thought
of losing Marry Joe. Marry Joe was her whole world! Theresa says she honestly
thought that if she lost Marry Joe, she would not have been able to make it
through it emotionally. She would lay awake for hours at night worrying about
what was going to happen next.
.
During
this time, Bishop Abbott, the senior pastor of Landmark Pentecostal Church, the
church Theresa and Marry Joe attend, came back into town from
evangelizing. While he was in town, he
preached an encouraging message about miracles. Theresa says that after his message, her faith began to be lifted
and she once again saw a glimmer of hope.
.
The
next week, Theresa, Marry Joe, and the rest of the Ginty family headed to
Fresno, California, to attend West Coast Conference, hosted by Bro. Vaughn
Morton. A lot of good preaching went forth, but it was on the second day,
during the night service that Theresa really got what she needed from God- a
message on faith and miracles, preached by Bro. Gary Howard.
.
Bro.
Howard kept emphasizing that God was able to answer prayer, and not only was He
able to answer it, He WANTED to answer it! She said the one thing that really
stood out to her was that he said you needed to just “pray it, and believe it,
and claim it!” At altar call, Bro. Howard had all the different ministers come
off the platform and line up across the front of the building. He then told
each one that had a need in their life to come up for prayer. He said he didn’t
care how big or how little the need was, come up believing in faith that God
was going to answer that prayer. Theresa got Marry Joe and brought the two of
them up there to get prayer for their miracle. Theresa said she left the
conference with her heart lifted. She felt like Bro. Howard’s message had been
specifically for her. She knew that God was going to answer her prayer. She
knew that some way, somehow, it was going to happen- she was going to adopt
Marry Joe.
.
When
she got back home, Theresa decided to try a different approach with the birthparents.
She asked them if they would let her have legal guardianship of Marry Joe until
she was 18. Due to his extremely bad health and a fear of what would happen in
the future, he agreed that he would let Marry Joe be taken out of foster care
and allow Theresa to have legal guardianship of her. Theresa was very excited
about this news. She said that even though it wasn’t actual adoption, the only
thing that really mattered to her was knowing that she would have Marry Joe
forever.
.
However,
when Theresa told Marry Joe’s foster care agency social worker that the parents
had agreed to give her legal guardianship, the social worker said she did not
feel like that was the best thing for Marry Joe. She reminded Theresa that having
guardianship of her would not fully give her the forever permanency that she
was wanting and that Marry Joe still would not have her last name. She pushed
Theresa to keep trying for adoption. She felt that if things were worded and
presented the right way to the birthparents that they would agree to give up
their rights without it getting ugly.
.
It
was planned that the next time the birthparents came over for a visit, there
would also be a meeting with them to once again talk about the possibility of
adoption. Attending the meeting were Theresa, the birthparents, the social
worker, and Marry Joe’s caseworker. Marry Joe’s caseworker was a Hispanic man,
slightly older than the birthfather. The caseworker encouraged the father, and
let him know that he was a good person. He emphasized that as Marry Joe’s
father, through adoption, he was providing a guaranteed way for her to always
be cared for.
.
Theresa
said that because of the way it was presented to the birthfather, and because
it was presented by a slightly older male of the same ethnicity, that he was in
agreement this time to the adoption. Theresa says that he was very emotional
and choked up. He just kept nodding his head and saying, “Okay, okay, okay.”
The social worker then spoke up, asking for clarification of the father’s
words.
.
“So,
you’re agreeing to let Theresa adopt Marry Joe?” asked the social worker. All
the birthfather said was a simple, but clear, “Yes.” Theresa said when she
heard him say that one word she felt so excited! Yet, at the same time, it just
didn’t seem real. That meeting took place at the end of November 2011.
.
At
the beginning of January 2011, a court hearing was scheduled for the birthparents
to sign over their rights. At the hearing, the judge was very harsh in his
wording to the father as he blatantly said, “Do you realize that you will no
longer be Marry Joe’s father?” Everything had been going smoothly, but as soon
as the judge said those words, the birthfather just broke down crying,
stuttering, and saying that he thought he would still be her father. The
courtroom was in an uproar and the judge abruptly said that he did not feel
like the father was ready for this. The hearing was adjourned and rescheduled
for a month later.
.
Theresa
said that she once again felt scared. However, as soon as they got outside of
the courthouse, Marry Joe’s birthfather came over to Theresa and said not to
worry about it. He had given his word and he was still going to go through with
what they had talked about regarding the adoption. Theresa also clarified with
him that no matter what anyone said he would always be her biological father.
She said there were no papers that could ever take that away. He said that he
understood this and just had been so taken aback with the way the judge had
stated it.
“But
don’t worry,” he said to Theresa,
“she is still gonna be your little boss.”
.
A
month later in February of 2011, there was another court hearing and this time
everything went smoothly. Without a fight and without things getting ugly, the
birthparents willingly signed away their rights allowing Theresa to begin the
adoption process. There was now a lot of legal paperwork that had to be filed.
Marry Joe was assigned an adoption caseworker, another home study had to be
done, Theresa’s adoption license needed to be renewed, and the list of legal
things went on and on. Finally, the adoption date was set for November 19
th,
20ll, which was also National Adoption Day.
The
morning of the adoption, Theresa woke up feeling very excited. She says that
every other time she was going to the courthouse she felt very nervous, but not
on this morning. She says that she felt very calm and had absolute peace about
the day. “I knew that it was really going to happen,” she says. Theresa and her family were some of the
first to arrive at the courthouse.
There were over 300 Arizona adoptions that
would be taking place throughout the day. The courtroom was filled with lots of
joyous chatter, laughter, and excitement as the Ginty family waited for the
judge to arrive.
When
the judge arrived, everyone in the room rose in his honor. Instead of a
serious, stern look, this particular judge had a huge smile on his face. You
could hear the excitement in his voice as he talked to Theresa and Marry Joe.
The judge said, “You were Marry Joe Mesa. From this day forward
you are MaryJo Elizabeth Ginty. I now pronounce you mother and daughter.”
Theresa
says that when she heard those words she was surprised. She had not expected
him to say it that way. It made her feel so happy. “I now pronounce you
mother and daughter.” It sounded so final, so complete, so forever. As soon
as the judge made his pronouncement, the courthouse erupted in clapping.
Theresa’s mother, who was now MaryJo’s Grandma, pulled out a noisemaker and
started clacking it right there in the courthouse. Theresa’s sister, MaryJo’s Aunt
Mary, stood up screaming and cheering. She was so loud that MaryJo felt the
need to cover her ears and stick out her tongue at her aunt’s crazy antics.
There were a few happy tears, lots of smiles, lots of hugs and hundreds of
pictures being snapped. The Ginty family had a new member that would belong to
them forever. It was time to celebrate!
Theresa
says that when the judge pronounced her and MaryJo as mother and daughter, she
didn’t feel like anything had really changed between them. “I was already her
mom!” says Theresa. But what made it feel so special was hearing it said out
loud by a judge. She says she knew that it was binding, on paper, and official-
whenever and wherever they went. Through her triumphs and failures, MaryJo and
Theresa would be bound forever to each other.
.
MaryJo
says her favorite thing about her mom is that she knows she loves her. She says
that her mom is very pretty. “Because she looks just like me!” she explains
confidently. The resemblance between Theresa and MaryJo is astounding. They
have the same hair, eye, and skin coloring, but more than just that, even the
shape of their faces is the same. They both have brown eyes- big, dark brown
eyes. MaryJo likes to describe herself and her mom as the ‘Caramel Girls’.
She
looks more like Theresa than her birthmother, and Theresa looks more like
MaryJo than she does her own sister. God really did know what He was doing and
designed them specifically for each other. People will say to Theresa, “Your
little girl is so cute, and she looks just like you.” When Theresa explains to
them that she is adopted and there is absolutely no blood relation, they are
astounded.
.
One
of Theresa’s favorite memories with MaryJo happened several years ago. Soon
after Marry Joe moved in, Theresa’s sister began playing a little game with
Marry Joe. She would grab Marry Joe into a big hug, smother her with kisses and
tell her that she was “so pretty!”
Then
she would ask Marry Joe,
‘How did you get so pretty?”
Marry
Joe would always respond with a simple answer saying, “Theresa made me pretty!”
Several weeks after moving in with Theresa, Marry Joe and the Ginty family went
on vacation to California. On their way home, after a visit to the beach, Mary
decided to play the game once again with Marry Joe. Sitting together in the
back of the van she started their usual game…
.
“Marry
Joe, you are so pretty! How did you get to be so pretty?”
“Theresa
made me pretty.”
“Oh,
OK. So that’s how you got be so pretty,” said Mary with her typical response
back to Marry Joe.
Then she decided to ask her another question.
“But Marry
Joe, what did Theresa do that made you soooo pretty?”
Without
pausing to even think about an answer, Marry Joe responded. “Because,” she said,
“she made me HAPPY!”
The
van grew silent for a moment at MaryJo’s response. Some women spend their entire
lives searching for beauty, trying to buy beauty, trying to create beauty, and trying
to make themselves beautiful.
Due to the circumstances of her life, Marry Joe discovered the secret to beauty at six-years-old.
Theresa says she knows that
by loving MaryJo, she was able to make her happy. However, she says that she
feels the same way about MaryJo.
Before MaryJo came to live with her, she
always felt like she never really fit in anywhere. “I didn’t feel like I fit in
with the youth anymore, and I didn’t fit in with the married couples.” When
Marry Joe came into her life, the two of them just fit together perfectly. “I
always felt like I was just sort of floating around aimlessly,” says Theresa.
“But with MaryJo in my life, I feel like I have a purpose.” She feels like they
were two missing pieces in each other’s lives, and God made them to fit
together so perfectly.
“We belong to each other now,” she says,
“and having her
as my daughter has made me so happy!”
.
Theresa
says that she agreed to an open adoption with the birthparents, allowing them
visits and pictures together. She knows that now that she has adopted MaryJo
she could cut them out completely, but she says that she would never do that to
them. “They gave me MaryJo,” she says, “and for that I will be forever
grateful!” Theresa feels that God really used the birthfather’s sickness to
soften his heart, because since that time, his health has rapidly improved and,
since the adoption, God has blessed them financially.
.
Another
favorite memory happened several months after she had moved in. Marry Joe was chattering
away, “…and my other home that I lived in,” she said, “that was my mad home.”
When asked why it was her mad home, she said, “Because everyone was mean there
and screamed and yelled at each other.”
“So,
if that was your mad home, what is the new home that you live in now?”
“This
is my happy home,” said Marry Joe firmly.
.
“This is my happy home!”
The
first five and a half years of MaryJo’s life were spent in a mad home, where
she says she always felt scared and sad, with no one to care for her, no one to
wipe away her tears, no one to hug or kiss her, no one to love her; she was all
alone. Then one day, using a single young lady, God stepped in and God gave
MaryJo a home of her own. This home wasn’t the biggest and best house that
could ever be found. It wasn’t filled with the best of everything; it didn’t
have the latest electronics and gadgets. It may have needed a few repairs, but
MaryJo didn’t mind at all.
.
She
loved the new home that God had given her. Because to MaryJo, it wasn’t just
any home, it was her dream-come-true home. When God gives you a home, it’s not
just any random home. When God gives you a home, it is a place filled with fun
and laughter. When God gives you a home, it is a place where people give you
big, tight bear hugs and the words “I love you” freely flow. When God gives you
a home, it is a place where people hold you close and wipe away the tears from
your eyes when you are sad. When God gives you a home, it is a place filled
with love, joy, and peace. Most of all, when God gives you a home, it is not
just any home, because when God gives you a home, as MaryJo says,
It’s a home
sweet…
"Happy Home!”
♥Mary Frances :)
Yes, I Mary, am the author of this story, the aunt of Mary Jo and sister of Theresa, written in 3rd person!
